Life is Like a Box of Chocolates...

If I were to describe the past three years of my life, I could probably very easily use a quote from the movie Forrest Gump for each and every moment of it. My life has truly been "like a box of chocolates," as I've never really been sure what's going to happen next. So many times I've been flabbergasted by things and people, muttering "stupid is as stupid does" to myself. At other times, I've spoken to I'm practically blue in the face about something bothersome, finally ending with "that's all I have to say about that."

Still other times, I got to the point I felt life had dealt me more than I could handle on my own. Going to school and working up to 60 hours in a week put stresses on me in a lot of areas. I made a lot of mistakes along the way and often tried to deal with the consequences on my own, rather than going where I really should have. Forrest's Mama always said "you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on." Easier said than done in my case. Many times, I felt like Jenny with escape being the only way out. "Dear God, make me a bird. So I could fly far. Far far away from here." Yes, I was lost. Very lost!

One day early this past summer, I stopped and suddenly realized that I was not in control of much of anything. Actually, my life had gotten completely out of control. And though I was getting a lot out of my church services at Reality L.A. in Hollywood on Sundays, living out the messages on a day-to-day basis was a huge struggle. A quote from the Bible (Psalm 46:10) began to resonate in my head: "Be still, and know that I'm God." Of course, I'm not in control. Rather, God is in control! It was truly a revelation. Yes, circumstances may change, but He is the rock, and should be at the center of our universe as Christians at all times! This was my wake-up call. Over the past several months, I've developed a lot of very strong relationships with people from my church and a strong sense of community. I truly understand now that is meant in Romans 8:28, and that I shouldn't get down or burdened by things or circumstances of this world. The verse states: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

Now that my focus is more squarely on Him, I've come to depend on Him more and more, and not be controlled by my circumstances. And rather than just sit on things and let them discourage me, I've decided to start making positive changes, and taking "leaps of faith" more often. The results have been very positive so far. I have a new job that I'm starting very soon, and also am so very blessed to be part of an amazing church and Community Group. I'm so very excited about 2012 and how God is going to work through me.